Cloistered: My Years as a Nun
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- Create Date：2024-03-22 09:21:44
- Update Date：2025-09-06
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- Author：Catherine Coldstream
- ISBN：1250323517
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Reviews
Kelli
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I was scrolling through Libby when I found this audiobook under the newly released titles， so I checked it out。 I don't have too many thoughts about the book， but I did find it interesting and kept coming back to it。 There were some relatable times of feeling alone and wondering if things made sense， so I'd say it was contemplative read。 I was scrolling through Libby when I found this audiobook under the newly released titles， so I checked it out。 I don't have too many thoughts about the book， but I did find it interesting and kept coming back to it。 There were some relatable times of feeling alone and wondering if things made sense， so I'd say it was contemplative read。 。。。more
Hannah
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**I read this as an ARC from Macmillan Audio**This book is gorgeous， heartbreaking， and so incredibly powerful。 On the surface it’s a story about faith and being a nun， but really it has so much more to do with humanity in all its forms。 I am not religious and especially not Catholic。 This book caught my attention because of how different the author’s experience was to any of my own。 My favorite kinds of memoirs are those that show me perspectives that are vastly different from anything I have o **I read this as an ARC from Macmillan Audio**This book is gorgeous， heartbreaking， and so incredibly powerful。 On the surface it’s a story about faith and being a nun， but really it has so much more to do with humanity in all its forms。 I am not religious and especially not Catholic。 This book caught my attention because of how different the author’s experience was to any of my own。 My favorite kinds of memoirs are those that show me perspectives that are vastly different from anything I have or may experience。 I think it’s fascinating that despite all of our differences as individuals there is so much that we can find in common with one another and so much we can learn about the world from each other。 While I will never find myself converting to Catholicism let alone becoming a nun， I was able to connect deeply to the feelings of being lonely and lost in the world and seeking unconditional love and support。 After seeing how the monasteries are supposed to function I completely understand someone making the decision to leave behind their trauma and dedicate their life to serving a power greater than themselves。 Devoting your current life to a higher power and your next life and choosing to be part of a system that is so much greater than you must equally as freeing as it is confining。 I wanted so badly for the author to find the peace she was looking for。 But the ugly parts of humanity can still seep in through the cracks of this idealistic world。 When you’ve let down all your guards because you were promised safety it’s so much harder to see the poison and almost impossible to fight against it。I think the most shocking thing to me about this book was the author’s sense of optimism。 Despite everything she had been through she still believes in herself and her faith。 She has every right to be jaded and renounce the Catholic Church after everything she went through， but instead she still finds the strength to forgive and move on to a better life。This book is so unique and worth a read no matter your stance on God， the afterlife， and Catholicism because in the end what you’ll take away from Catherine Coldstream’s story will have nothing to do with religion。 If you enjoy audiobooks this one is very well done， it is read by the author and there are a few hymns mentioned that you have the pleasure of hearing her sing。 。。。more
joyce w。 laudon
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This is a memoir about a woman who wanted to become a cloistered Carmelite nun。 She was following in a long tradition that stretches back to medieval times。 Women became cloistered nuns in those days to， perhaps， escape marriage and find more freedoms， including intellectual ones。 Catherine Coldstream had her own reasons。She joined a community with such commitment and hope。 Readers follow her experience there and discover， along with her， that life in a cloister does not always mean a life of pe This is a memoir about a woman who wanted to become a cloistered Carmelite nun。 She was following in a long tradition that stretches back to medieval times。 Women became cloistered nuns in those days to， perhaps， escape marriage and find more freedoms， including intellectual ones。 Catherine Coldstream had her own reasons。She joined a community with such commitment and hope。 Readers follow her experience there and discover， along with her， that life in a cloister does not always mean a life of peace。 There are issues， power struggles， and conflicts。 What will the author choose to do-stay or go？ And， perhaps， more importantly why？This is a compelling memoir and one that I recommend。Many thanks to NetGalley and St。 Martin’s Press for this title。 All opinions are my own。 。。。more
Mihiret
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This memoir covers Coldstream's experience as a cloistered nun in a Carmelite order， as well as the life experiences that led to her conversion to Catholicism and her taking refuge in a religious order; it also covers the increasing dysfunction in her community and her reasons for leaving。 （It in fact begins with her dramatic escape and literal running away from the community; although she did return for some time after that night， we know from the beginning that she will be leaving dramatically This memoir covers Coldstream's experience as a cloistered nun in a Carmelite order， as well as the life experiences that led to her conversion to Catholicism and her taking refuge in a religious order; it also covers the increasing dysfunction in her community and her reasons for leaving。 （It in fact begins with her dramatic escape and literal running away from the community; although she did return for some time after that night， we know from the beginning that she will be leaving dramatically and fearfully。 I'm not sure this was the best structural decision for the memoir， but it does encourage the reader to maintain a sense of caution and detachment as Catherine immerses herself in the religious life。 We know it's not going to last， even though Catherine is sure she is pledging her life to the community。）The memoir is moving on the subject of silence， prayer， voices raised together in the choir， and the rhythms of convent life。 It is also uncomfortably believable about the increasingly painful experiences of a community breaking down （take note of the midnight escape--this is not a soothing read）。 I'm sure the details of Carmelite theology will also work for some readers （they clearly matter to Coldstream）。Thanks to the publisher， author， and Netgalley for my free earc。 My opinions are all my own。 。。。more
Beverly Manring
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I received an early audiobook to review and give my own personal opinion。 I found this memoir to be exceptional。 The narrator is also the author。 She takes the listener into her journey recalling such detail and personal encounters。 She was seeking the quiet。 She was happy to have a room of her own！ Painted white。 To be alone in her thoughts。 However her room also had black bars on the windows and a crucifix on the wall that depicted a bleeding Jesus hanging from the cross。 She found the cross a I received an early audiobook to review and give my own personal opinion。 I found this memoir to be exceptional。 The narrator is also the author。 She takes the listener into her journey recalling such detail and personal encounters。 She was seeking the quiet。 She was happy to have a room of her own！ Painted white。 To be alone in her thoughts。 However her room also had black bars on the windows and a crucifix on the wall that depicted a bleeding Jesus hanging from the cross。 She found the cross a bit much to look at every waking moment in her room。。 she would soon find out she had to follow their routine and your time was belonged to the group， you all were awake at a certain time， ate breakfast， met for prayers， then daily chores， raking to keep the pond area free from leaves。 Gardening was also essential because they only ate the food provided by the garden all year。 They live their life in true poverty。 She would take her vows following her calling。 However， she couldn’t help but feel she was joining a cult。 The order followed strict rules depending on which mother was in charge determined how strict the rules were。 They were not allowed to show a personality no smiles or laughter。 She would live with no color her clothes were first white， then brown。 The only was she could distinguish her friend from everyone else was by looking at their shoes。 Tensions were。too much to bare sometimes and fights would break out。 The atmosphere made them physically and mentally sick but it was all ignored because there was no oversight to report the abuse to。 You need to read it yourself to learn how she was able to write this book。 I enjoyed and you will too。 Thanks to the following for allowing me to review early。 Available now。 Go get your copy！#NetGalley，#MacmillanAudio，#Catherine Coldstream，#CloisteredPublication Date: March 12， 2024 。。。more
Leslie
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Thanks to NetGalley and St。 Martin’s Press for the digital galley and ALC of this book/audiobook。Catherine Coldstream spent twelve years in a Carmelite monastery with twenty nuns of a silent order。 She believed she was entrusting herself to God， but she finds that， spending decades away from the outside world， the order has become subject to the cult of personality and has only itself to answer to。 As the honeymoon phase of her new life wears off， she shares the negative effects of the harm done Thanks to NetGalley and St。 Martin’s Press for the digital galley and ALC of this book/audiobook。Catherine Coldstream spent twelve years in a Carmelite monastery with twenty nuns of a silent order。 She believed she was entrusting herself to God， but she finds that， spending decades away from the outside world， the order has become subject to the cult of personality and has only itself to answer to。 As the honeymoon phase of her new life wears off， she shares the negative effects of the harm done when institutional flaws go acknowledged and unpunished。I am fascinated by the lives of nuns， both in antiquity and in modern times。 I guess because we are often not privy to the lives of women who spend their lives with other women and outside of society。 Catherine’s journey in the order and her separation from it is told in a heartfelt and authentic voice。 These communities are so far removed from the rest of us that we don’t often know much about them， let alone deeper insight into their communities。 This was a fascinating account， and I was happy to learn that the author found her own form of happiness after a difficult time with her life and faith in the institution。 。。。more
Andrea
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2。5 rounded up， felt like this could have been a way shorter book。
Reeca Elliott
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This is an honest account of Catherine Coldstream’s time in a monastery。 Why did she decide to choose this life？ And why did she choose to leave？This story just proves that politics are in everything， along with jealousy。 People are human， even nuns。 And even nuns make bad choices and poor decisions。 And power definitely plays an intricate part of these decisions。 I am sure writing this memoir was very cathartic for the author。This is a bit slow in places but I enjoyed learning what nuns went th This is an honest account of Catherine Coldstream’s time in a monastery。 Why did she decide to choose this life？ And why did she choose to leave？This story just proves that politics are in everything， along with jealousy。 People are human， even nuns。 And even nuns make bad choices and poor decisions。 And power definitely plays an intricate part of these decisions。 I am sure writing this memoir was very cathartic for the author。This is a bit slow in places but I enjoyed learning what nuns went through and about their daily lives。I love a book that is narrated by the author。 It just makes it so real。 Catherine did a fabulous job telling her story。Need a unique memoir…THIS IS IT！ Grab your copy today。I received this memoir from the publisher for a honest review。 。。。more
Gareth
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Very different I generally don't write reviews but this book， being new， warrants one。 It is superbly written and absolutely fascinating in so many ways。 A spiritual and idealistic striving through a system designed to bring out all of the flaws of humanity。 I absolutely loved it。 Very different I generally don't write reviews but this book， being new， warrants one。 It is superbly written and absolutely fascinating in so many ways。 A spiritual and idealistic striving through a system designed to bring out all of the flaws of humanity。 I absolutely loved it。 。。。more
Diane Hernandez
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Have you ever wondered what being a contemplative （as opposed to a teaching or nursing） nun is like？ If so， Cloistered is the memoir for you。Being shut into a convent year after year is definitely not for everyone。 However， Catherine is drawn to the sisterhood in equal measures by her love of theology and her grief at her father’s death。 She expects to find intelligent discourse。 Instead， she finds something completely different。 Has she joined a cult？ A high school straight out of Mean Girls？ T Have you ever wondered what being a contemplative （as opposed to a teaching or nursing） nun is like？ If so， Cloistered is the memoir for you。Being shut into a convent year after year is definitely not for everyone。 However， Catherine is drawn to the sisterhood in equal measures by her love of theology and her grief at her father’s death。 She expects to find intelligent discourse。 Instead， she finds something completely different。 Has she joined a cult？ A high school straight out of Mean Girls？ The 2023 United States House of Representatives？ Independent thought is considered disobedient。 Bullying and shunning are common。 How can Catherine reconcile her ideals with the all too human reality of a group of women living in a defined space？Was Akenside， Catherine’s convent， just one aberrant place rather than the norm？ That is the question left unanswered in Cloistered。 I think the book does a good job presenting a balanced view of both the pros and cons of convent life。 It definitely shows why Vatican II was necessary。 But at its heart， it is one woman’s story。 And a fascinating one at that。 5 stars！Thanks to St。 Martin’s Press and NetGalley for a digital review copy of the book。 。。。more
Tara Cignarella
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Overall Grade: B-Narration and Writing: B-Content and Depth of Story: BBest Aspect: Some interseting stories and emotions from the author。Worst Aspect: Too long and often I lost interest while listening too。
Robyn
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A wonderful honest and contemplative memoir。 Will speak to so many。 Thank you。
Louise Steer
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As an ex convent school girl， I was keen to read this book。 I read it in one day， as the writing， while flowery， flows well。 However， even though it is written 20 years after the events it recounts， there is still much that has been left out， reading between the lines。 Akenside Priory， along with a number of other northern British Carmelite monasteries， no longer exist， having been sold and repurposed as a fancy hotel。 It's not surprising。 The Carmelite way is medieval and the privations so seve As an ex convent school girl， I was keen to read this book。 I read it in one day， as the writing， while flowery， flows well。 However， even though it is written 20 years after the events it recounts， there is still much that has been left out， reading between the lines。 Akenside Priory， along with a number of other northern British Carmelite monasteries， no longer exist， having been sold and repurposed as a fancy hotel。 It's not surprising。 The Carmelite way is medieval and the privations so severe they damage the health of the nuns。 Food is limited， powdered milk is double diluted， they use bricks to warm their beds。 The younger nuns and postulants spend their days doing all the physical yard labour and cleaning of the huge monastery， without much time left for spiritual contemplation， which is actively discouraged in favour of just doing what is needed。 The crazy cat lady nun gets elected as prioress。 The cats roam unchecked until both the council and the bishop intervene。 A rival nun arrives。 Although there are only 18 nuns in the priory， they devolve into vicious faction fighting - and even physical attacks。 So much for the spiritual life， they are going through the motions and have forgotten why they are there。 Many of the younger nuns and postulants have mental breakdowns and are ejected。 Some nuns are made to leave for the most flimsy of reasons。 Others， including the author， have their final orders delayed for no apparent reason except to get more work out of them。 It's a cult， not a spiritual home。The author stays there for 12 years， for reasons she does not clearly express。 Perhaps she simply could not admit to herself it wasn't working for her。 Or it felt too much like a divorce， she took the "bride of Christ" role rather too seriously。 In the lead up to publication， her escape attempt was much publicised - but it turns out to have been short lived for reasons she does not really explore。 She lives a different life now， and seems much happier。 Ultimately， her book shows that no one will ever find God in a building， but go outdoors and enjoy nature as a form of celebration and worship that not even the greatest bully can take away。 。。。more
Philly Girls Book Club
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Betwen 3 and 4 stars rounded up！Thank you Macmillan Audio and NetGalley for my ALC！A remote community closed off to the outside world that maintains an aura of secrecy？ A charismatic leader believed to be right at all times？ Zero tolerance for criticism or questions？ Members are required to "donate" all of their material belongings to the community， and are prohibited from owning anything once they are "inside"？ Control maintained by keeping the members tired with non stop manual work？ Members f Betwen 3 and 4 stars rounded up！Thank you Macmillan Audio and NetGalley for my ALC！A remote community closed off to the outside world that maintains an aura of secrecy？ A charismatic leader believed to be right at all times？ Zero tolerance for criticism or questions？ Members are required to "donate" all of their material belongings to the community， and are prohibited from owning anything once they are "inside"？ Control maintained by keeping the members tired with non stop manual work？ Members feeling they are never able to be "good enough"？ Psychological and physical torture for the "disobidient"？ Sounds like one of them "cults" everyone is writing about lately？ Not quite。 Just a traditional Carmelite monastery - a secretive， ancient order of Catholic nuns that has been maintaining their "traditional ways" for centuries。I have always been fascinated by remote， silent monasteries - I think since I watched The Name of the Rose as a child。 For those of you who don't know， the movie features several unique and fascinating locations around Italy that brings you back in time into the Middle Ages。 The most breathtaking of which is probably the Castle of Roccascalegna in the region of Abruzzo， also called "The Castle in the Sky '' thanks to its unique position right on top of a rocky ledge that overlooks the valley below。 How romantic！ I remember asking myself - would I be able to live in a place like that？ To give up everything， to live in silence， contemplating the "higher calling"？ （The short answer is "no"， in case you were wondering 🤣）So when I saw Cloistered， a memoir by Catherine Coldstream who spent 12 years of her life as a nun in the Carmelite monastery， available through @netgalley I jumped on the opportunity to learn more about the monastic life from someone who experienced it and lived to tell us about it 🤣🤷It did not disappoint！ Yes- there is a lot of musings on Dogma， and the spirituality overall， that could come off as a bit tidiouse for the readers who have no interest in theology。 However， these stream of consciousness bits are important in explaining the author's state of mind before and shortly after entering the monastery。 They also help "set up the stage" for the second half of the book where the proverbial shit's gets very real with all the little powerplays and psychological torture。In the past monasteries were famously used by powerful men to "hide" women that were inconvenient to have around。 Effectively serving as "religious prisons" of sorts - the monasteries have long been places of "last resort" for unwanted wives and disobedient daughters。 Yes some entered because they were religious zealots， but not all。 Far from it。So what could possibly push a young woman from London who grew up in the 80's loving music， and books to convert to Roman Catholicism and join one of the most reclusive orders of nuns in history？ Why would any woman today want to voluntarily put herself in what essentially amounts to prison？ In her memoir， Catherine Coldstream explores the idealism of the youth， the "monastic mind"， and the pitfalls of human behavior which cannot be escaped in any closed off community。 Even the one that is supposedly all about self sacrifice， love and acceptance。 As you have probably already figured out from the first paragraph of this review， the most shocking parts of this fascinating memoir （at least for me） are the very obvious similarities between the communities that are defined as "cults" today， and this institution that by all accounts is a legitimate part of the mainstream religion。 Just like cults， the monasteries today attract people that for whatever reason are struggling to fit in。 It could be a trauma， a loss of a loved one， or a mental illness - there is typically something that makes it very hard for these individuals to "make it" in a mainstream society。 The timing is also important - they typically join when they are at most vulnerable， and "malleable" in ways that both the cult and the monastic way of living "need" in order to create obedient members that do not dare to question too much。 It was truly fascinating to "witness" Catherine's growth over the years， and her transformation at the very end moved me to tears。 The type of experiences that she went through， in particular the cognitive dissonance - when you convince yourself that what you are doing is obviously "right" because the alternative is just unimaginable - were truly extreme。 Yet she was able to rise above them and find her own truth。 A fascinating memoir， and a rare glimpse into the life of the cloistered nuns， complete with its unwritten "rules''， medieval outfits， and absolute rejection of any type of progressive changes。 Beautifully written， and highly recommended by me！ 。。。more
Dawn Michelle
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A compelling memoir about life in a cloistered Carmelite monastery in Northumberland， England。The author suffers a tremendous loss that completely throws her life into chaos and in seeking peace from that turmoil， she finds both God and what she believes to be her calling - joining the Akenside Priory and taking vows [though its not really as simple as that - it takes her almost a decade to finally get to take her final vows] and living a life of poverty， chastity， obedience， and silence。 And I A compelling memoir about life in a cloistered Carmelite monastery in Northumberland， England。The author suffers a tremendous loss that completely throws her life into chaos and in seeking peace from that turmoil， she finds both God and what she believes to be her calling - joining the Akenside Priory and taking vows [though its not really as simple as that - it takes her almost a decade to finally get to take her final vows] and living a life of poverty， chastity， obedience， and silence。 And I believe， that for some time， she was happy there。 She found the peace from her father's death， learned to quiet her mind and immerses herself so deeply in the monastic world that she soon forgets what the outside world is really like [this comes into play later， when she decides to leave] and is convinced that she will live forever here at Akenside。 How she lives and all that happens that changes her mind， you will have to read for yourself as this is a story that best unfolds with no preconceived notions and notes。 I will say that this is full of Catholicism， so if you are unfamiliar with that religion and all that it entails， this might be harder for you to read， but should absolutely not deter you - just be prepared to maybe have to look some things up， OR find a friend who IS familiar or has grown up in the church that could help you with some of the religious aspects of this book [I find that it is always amazing to learn about other cultures， because being a Nun with a vow of silence IS another culture IMO， and this one really steeps you in it]。 Unflinchingly honest and richly detailed， this was one of the better "religious" books I have read in some time。 If you have ever been curious about monastic life [whether personally or from a straight-learning POV]， this book is for you。 I was also granted an audiobook ARC for this book and I highly recommend going into this book that way。 The author narrates and she should look into the world of narration because she was simply amazing。 With a straightforward way of telling a story， she has a soft， yet strong [not whispery， just soft， probably a product of her time in the monastery] voice that was just pure joy to listen to。 If she ever decides to join the narration world and narrate other books， I will be first in line to read what she has narrated。 Very well done。 Thank you to NetGalley， Catherine Coldstream， Macmillan Audio， and St。 Martin's Press for providing this ARC in exchange for an honest review。 。。。more
Sarah
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This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 You would think living in a convent would be a peaceful existence but for Catherine Coldstream it was anything but， and she found herself subject to the same cliques and petty power plays that you would experience in any toxic working environment。 In one extraordinary chapter the author recounts being pulled out of her sickbed and beaten by one of her fellow nuns！ A very eye opening account of how the strict and dehumanised life of nuns can cause them to viciously lash out at each other or peopl You would think living in a convent would be a peaceful existence but for Catherine Coldstream it was anything but， and she found herself subject to the same cliques and petty power plays that you would experience in any toxic working environment。 In one extraordinary chapter the author recounts being pulled out of her sickbed and beaten by one of her fellow nuns！ A very eye opening account of how the strict and dehumanised life of nuns can cause them to viciously lash out at each other or people in their care。 。。。more
Wendy
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Informative & Eye-Opening！This is the story of Catherine Coldstream who converted to Catholicism after her father's death and was a Carmelite nun for twelve years。During her time at the silent monastery she describes her intense personal journey of poverty， chastity and obedience in her enclosed life。 A profoundly moving memoir detailing her quest for God's love while enduring struggles， pain and the imperfections of humanity。Thank you to NetGalley and St。 Martin's Press for an arc of this novel Informative & Eye-Opening！This is the story of Catherine Coldstream who converted to Catholicism after her father's death and was a Carmelite nun for twelve years。During her time at the silent monastery she describes her intense personal journey of poverty， chastity and obedience in her enclosed life。 A profoundly moving memoir detailing her quest for God's love while enduring struggles， pain and the imperfections of humanity。Thank you to NetGalley and St。 Martin's Press for an arc of this novel in exchange for my honest review。 。。。more
Debra Pawlak
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I received an advance reading copy （arc） of this book from NetGalley。com in return for a fair review。 Author Catherine Coldstream delves into her years spent as a cloistered nun in England。 I have often been curious as to what goes on in a cloistered convent。 How do women maintain this lifestyle of prayer and isolation？ While I believe Coldstream was honest about her experiences， I also felt she whined a lot starting with the pivotal point in her life when her father died。 She was 24 years old a I received an advance reading copy （arc） of this book from NetGalley。com in return for a fair review。 Author Catherine Coldstream delves into her years spent as a cloistered nun in England。 I have often been curious as to what goes on in a cloistered convent。 How do women maintain this lifestyle of prayer and isolation？ While I believe Coldstream was honest about her experiences， I also felt she whined a lot starting with the pivotal point in her life when her father died。 She was 24 years old at the time and for some reason couldn't get over his passing and this seems to be what prompted her to join the Cloisters。 She was not raised a Catholic， but converted to the faith as a young woman。 After she joined the convent with her idealized picture of what she thought it should be， she spent ten years there。 Even though I was raised in the Catholic faith， I don't think I would have lasted ten minutes！ According to Coldstream， your individuality is stripped away and you are required to obey the Mother Superior without question--and sometimes the Mother Superior is a bully。 Take for instance， the time Coldstream was beaten by the Mother Superior。 Sometime after that， Coldstream literally ran out of the convent and made her way to her sister's house。 For some reason that I will never understand， she returned to the cloistered life for another two years。 After that， she went through formal proceedings to dissolve her vows with a papal blessing。 I am not sure whether Coldstream's experience was common to all cloistered nuns， but it was an interesting read。 。。。more
Lauren
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I'm not Catholic and have very little knowledge of the Catholic church， so I was very interested in this memoir about a young woman who was a nun but left。While a lot of this was fascinating and I admire the author for telling her story， I can't help but think that this was geared to an audience more knowledgeable about the intricacies of the Catholic church than me。 There was so much in this that I simply didn't understand， and I think someone with a better understanding of the structure of the I'm not Catholic and have very little knowledge of the Catholic church， so I was very interested in this memoir about a young woman who was a nun but left。While a lot of this was fascinating and I admire the author for telling her story， I can't help but think that this was geared to an audience more knowledgeable about the intricacies of the Catholic church than me。 There was so much in this that I simply didn't understand， and I think someone with a better understanding of the structure of the Catholic church would appreciate this much more than me。 Thanks to NetGalley for this ARC！ 。。。more
Marianna
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***Thank you Netgalley for the ARC and opportunity to read and reviewCloisters is a very well written， in depth account of a young woman’s spiritual path。 It is beautifully written and so intriguing to read about the nun culture as almost like a secret society。
Diane S ☔
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So intriguing， closed societies of the religious， contemplative nuns。 Their rituals。 The many steps， years it takes until final vows。 How they live， their clothing， what is expected of the newly entered。 The author felt she had a calling， felt close to God，yet after twelve years，before taking final vows， she would leave the order。 This book explains why。 Life inside and out of the Carmelite order。 An interesting look at the struggle of a young woman as she comes to terms with her unfulfilled exp So intriguing， closed societies of the religious， contemplative nuns。 Their rituals。 The many steps， years it takes until final vows。 How they live， their clothing， what is expected of the newly entered。 The author felt she had a calling， felt close to God，yet after twelve years，before taking final vows， she would leave the order。 This book explains why。 Life inside and out of the Carmelite order。 An interesting look at the struggle of a young woman as she comes to terms with her unfulfilled expectations。Audio is well done。 。。。more
Julia Call
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2⭐️This memoir chronicles the author's quest for a meaningful life in the aftermath of her father's passing。 It leads her to embrace life at Akinside Priory， a Roman Catholic order of nuns who take vows of poverty， chastity， and obedience （Carmelites）。 What she initially anticipated as a path to peace and purpose， however， leads her into a life of suffering。 The narrative delves into her initiation as a novice， followed by twelve tumultuous years marked by mental and physical abuse within the or 2⭐️This memoir chronicles the author's quest for a meaningful life in the aftermath of her father's passing。 It leads her to embrace life at Akinside Priory， a Roman Catholic order of nuns who take vows of poverty， chastity， and obedience （Carmelites）。 What she initially anticipated as a path to peace and purpose， however， leads her into a life of suffering。 The narrative delves into her initiation as a novice， followed by twelve tumultuous years marked by mental and physical abuse within the order， ultimately leading to her decision to reintegrate into secular life。As someone who was raised （unwillingly） in the Catholic Church， I found this read intriguing。 Initially I expected a scandalous exposé on the harsh realities of life within an extreme Roman Catholic monastery （because let's face it， it must be grim）， the author does touch upon such grim realities: from being informed that the fleas in her cell were a form of penance， to the restriction on physical contact with fellow sisters except on Christmas and Easter， and even encountering physical altercations with nuns （yes， you read that right， wild stuff）， all while enduring a life of near-complete silence and seclusion。Unfortunately， I did not enjoy the writing style。 I struggled to maintain focus as the narrative felt overly dry and dragged on for about 150 pages too long。 The tone of the book also felt somewhat off， with the author seemingly positioning herself as a martyr。 This left me feeling that parts of the story were being omitted。 （Sister Catherine， the vibes are way off！） However， the depiction of convent life is exactly as I expected， aside from nuns jumping one another （again， wild）。Thank you to NetGalley and St。 Martins Press who provided an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review。 。。。more
Moverley Smith
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I can't understand the chronology。 Is Catherine about 25 when she leaves for the Carmelites。 It cannot be sufficiently emphasized that she is from a really outstanding artistic family， but one with some shadows。 Coldstream had two sets of children; the feeling of being an outcast and thus cherishing an exaggerated love for the artist father is a possible psychological donnee for her parcours。 She's very sensitive， a virtuoso on the viola （Bach Suites， I guess） and， despite reading arts subjects I can't understand the chronology。 Is Catherine about 25 when she leaves for the Carmelites。 It cannot be sufficiently emphasized that she is from a really outstanding artistic family， but one with some shadows。 Coldstream had two sets of children; the feeling of being an outcast and thus cherishing an exaggerated love for the artist father is a possible psychological donnee for her parcours。 She's very sensitive， a virtuoso on the viola （Bach Suites， I guess） and， despite reading arts subjects at distinguished alma mater in early middle age rather than in the first flush of youth， way above the intellectual level of *this* monastery。 Did she just make a poor choice， when she might have gone to Quiddenham （Sister Wendy's extremely flexible and charitable Carmelite staging-post） ？ And then this 'Akenfield' business！ It is a truly terrible nom-de-plume for the monastery （remember 'achin'balls ？） and a moment's perusal of the Carmelites' website shows that there are NO Carmelite monasteries in Northumberland！ She makes even Conrad sound truthful。 Clearly， this Catherine episode was a severe rumpus in the Order and very 'Merton'。 I loved all the reviews， snowflake to mystic。 But girls， you all miss the point！ （Presumably sex is also never mentioned？） - Martin 。。。more
Laura
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I'm glad that the author gave the actual monastery a pseudonym and hid the location -- what happened there seems horrific。 It was less surprising that nuns are as prone to the human frailty of being power hungry and jockeying for position as the rest of us， and their adherence to The Way It's Always Been is as much a problem as it is elsewhere。 I did find it surprising that the Church had so little influence or oversight， but that might be a Carmelite monastic thing？ It was slightly disappointin I'm glad that the author gave the actual monastery a pseudonym and hid the location -- what happened there seems horrific。 It was less surprising that nuns are as prone to the human frailty of being power hungry and jockeying for position as the rest of us， and their adherence to The Way It's Always Been is as much a problem as it is elsewhere。 I did find it surprising that the Church had so little influence or oversight， but that might be a Carmelite monastic thing？ It was slightly disappointing to learn more about Catherine's inner spiritual life while in the cloister because she writes so movingly about her falling in love with God and being absolutely certain where she belongs。 There's a lot about the politics and some of the sisters， but not a lot about her daily life and what happens when she's alone in her cell with God。eARC provided by publisher via Edelweiss。 。。。more
Megan Hinton
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There were so many things I really enjoyed about this book/audiobook！ It was fascinating to peel back the curtain and get a glimpse of what life as a nun is like。 There were a lot of really beautiful descriptions， and I feel like I really do have a better understanding of what it might be like to live as a nun。 The narrator was also the author in this case， and I think she did an excellent job of bringing her writing off the page。 One thing I personally don’t love is when there is singing in aud There were so many things I really enjoyed about this book/audiobook！ It was fascinating to peel back the curtain and get a glimpse of what life as a nun is like。 There were a lot of really beautiful descriptions， and I feel like I really do have a better understanding of what it might be like to live as a nun。 The narrator was also the author in this case， and I think she did an excellent job of bringing her writing off the page。 One thing I personally don’t love is when there is singing in audiobooks。 There were only a few small sections， and her singing voice is beautiful， I just don’t personally love that in an audiobook。 I really was not expecting to identify so much with this book， but as she began to realize that parts of the religion and the way people were acting did not add up， I found myself really identifying with her。 I feel like so many people are going through this right now， and it was really interesting to hear a Catholic perspective。 Overall， this book was informative， I enjoyed learning about the author’s life and getting to hear about it from her perspective。 Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for the advanced copy of this audio！ 。。。more
Melissa
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3。5 stars rounded downThis memoir details Catherine Coldstream’s journey into becoming a nun in a silent monastery as well as her path out。 I picked this book up based on the title， cover， and premise alone and was not disappointed as it gave me a glimpse into the life of a nun - something I knew absolutely nothing about prior。I thought Coldstream did a fantastic job narrating this audiobook and I particularly enjoyed any parts where she sang。 She was an engaging and personable narrator。 While I 3。5 stars rounded downThis memoir details Catherine Coldstream’s journey into becoming a nun in a silent monastery as well as her path out。 I picked this book up based on the title， cover， and premise alone and was not disappointed as it gave me a glimpse into the life of a nun - something I knew absolutely nothing about prior。I thought Coldstream did a fantastic job narrating this audiobook and I particularly enjoyed any parts where she sang。 She was an engaging and personable narrator。 While I appreciated the point of view this memoir provided， I did feel it was a bit long and dragged at times。 I found myself sometimes losing focus or finding things to be a bit over my head - however this could be due to me not having a religious background。 Overall I’m glad I read this and I would recommend to anyone who is interested in learning more about religion and monasteries。 Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for early access to this audiobook in exchange for an honest review。 。。。more
Rachel B
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The writing feels very overwritten， particularly in the first and last chapters detailing the author's “escape” from her monastery。 The author's personality and attitude really irritated me。 She is someone who desperately wants to be an extra-special-holy-snowflake。 So she joins a monastery - the most extreme kind， of course。 Then she discovers that life in a monastery isn't the same as life in heaven and that nuns have flaws。 （All nuns except herself…） She judges her fellow nuns harshly through The writing feels very overwritten， particularly in the first and last chapters detailing the author's “escape” from her monastery。 The author's personality and attitude really irritated me。 She is someone who desperately wants to be an extra-special-holy-snowflake。 So she joins a monastery - the most extreme kind， of course。 Then she discovers that life in a monastery isn't the same as life in heaven and that nuns have flaws。 （All nuns except herself…） She judges her fellow nuns harshly throughout this whole book， especially their spirituality， assuming that she just cares more about spiritual things， and they're all shallow and “lukewarm” in their faith because they're not like her。 She assumes they don't like her because they're afraid of being “shown up” by her awesome， strong spiritual and mental life。 She never points out her own flaws。Eventually， she leaves the monastery （which， yes， does sound as if it were operating as a cult， not even bothering to follow Standard Catholic Operating Procedures， if you will）， and writes this book 20 years later… Will it surprise anyone that she says she kept her faith， and yet when she talks about God， she follows with phrases like， “or whatever guardian spirit，” and “you might call this power a different name，” etc。？Sadly， I got the strong impression that the author never actually surrendered her life to Jesus and trusted Him to forgive her sins。 She talked a lot about surrendering to the cloister， and about how hard she tried to be good and spiritual， but in the end， it's the breathless， emotional spiritual “high” she seemed to want， rather than a relationship with Jesus， which requires humbling ourselves before Him。Additionally， I found the book boring and too long。 Not much happened， the other “characters” were not fleshed out super well， and I didn't connect with anyone， or feel like I really got to know the people talked about。Note: There was some brief profanity。 I received access to this ebook from the publisher via NetGalley。 。。。more
Sierra
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Cloistered by Catherine Coldstream is a memoir recounting her journey of joining a convent after her father’s death。 It’s a very thought-provoking and insightful peak behind the closed doors of a Carmelite monastery。 Granted it’s only one perspective on what life as a nun is like。 It was very heavy at times as the author goes through quite a few rough ordeals， which eventually leads her to walk away from the cloistered life。 While the author does discuss some of her day-to-day life experiences w Cloistered by Catherine Coldstream is a memoir recounting her journey of joining a convent after her father’s death。 It’s a very thought-provoking and insightful peak behind the closed doors of a Carmelite monastery。 Granted it’s only one perspective on what life as a nun is like。 It was very heavy at times as the author goes through quite a few rough ordeals， which eventually leads her to walk away from the cloistered life。 While the author does discuss some of her day-to-day life experiences within the monastery， this book is mostly about her journey of self-discovery。 There were a lot of overly wordy descriptions as well as passages about religious views that went a bit too far into the weeds for me。 The pacing was so slow， which effected my overall interest in continuing to read it。 Overall， it was a very fascinating memoir。 I don’t know many people I would recommend this to， if you’re interested in learning about a former nun’s experience then check this book out。 Thank you to St。 Martin’s Press for providing an eARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review。 All thoughts and opinions are my own。 。。。more
Barb
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I was raised Catholic and was taught by the sisters at a Catholic grade school。 It was in Sister Cecelia’s second grade class that I learned that the terms “sister” and “nun” are not always synonymous。 A “sister，” Sister Cecelia explained， is a member of a religious order in which the sisters are actively involved in the world outside their convent which， back in those days， generally meant they worked as teachers and nurses at Catholic schools and hospitals while living in a convent。Nuns are al I was raised Catholic and was taught by the sisters at a Catholic grade school。 It was in Sister Cecelia’s second grade class that I learned that the terms “sister” and “nun” are not always synonymous。 A “sister，” Sister Cecelia explained， is a member of a religious order in which the sisters are actively involved in the world outside their convent which， back in those days， generally meant they worked as teachers and nurses at Catholic schools and hospitals while living in a convent。Nuns are also sisters and they take religious vows that are similar to those taken by sisters who are not cloistered。 The difference is that nuns live apart from the world that exists outside their cloister。 They are known as “contemplatives。 Some of what they do each day are duties at the monasteries where they live and do assigned tasks like cleaning floors， laundry， or tending the monastery garden。 But their primary duty is to pray and they spend much of their days （and nights） doing so。 As much as possible， nuns live in their own insular， self-contained， self-sufficient cloistered communities， usually called monasteries。It’s not a way of life I would have ever chosen for myself， but I’ve always been fascinated by the women who do choose it and why they chose to live a cloistered life， most of it in silence。I loved this book so much that I read it in just two sittings。 Ms。 Coldstream is a gifted writer with a beautiful writing style。 She doesn’t tag herself as a victim and the nuns in power as villains， which very much differentiates her account of what happened， which in the hands of another writer could have degenerated into a lurid tell-all story worthy of publication only in a grocery store checkout line tabloid。 Her account of the situation at the monastery focuses on her of what happened that caused her to choose to leave。 She doesn’t sensationalize anything。 This is not just a story about a schism involving a group of nuns There is so much more to the story Ms Coldstream has to tell in her memoir， including her reflections about why she made the choice to become a nun， what the process was for her to reach the point at which she became fully professed， and about her everyday life with the other nuns she lived among。Essentially， this is the story about how an idealistic young woman joined a religious order of nuns for all the right reasons only to see everything go horribly wrong。 It’s in part a story about how a monastery which originated with roots in hundreds of years as part of the Catholic hierarchy became isolated from those who were supposed to exert authority over it and turned into something one might call more cult-like than Christ-like。 But most importantly， it’s a memoir， told from the author’s point of view of why she chose to become a Carmelite nun， why she left， and what she experienced during her 12 years at the monastery - both the good and the bad。Had I been able to， I would have given this book six stars。 I highly recommend it。 。。。more
Julie
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